As 2020 comes to a close (thank the Lord), many of us are heading into the New Year with a laundry list of resolutions. Although, I don’t like that term- I feel like such a failure when I don’t accomplish what I set out to do. So, I usually make a list of a few things I’d like to do. I know it sounds silly, but it’s much less stressful when I don’t give it a name. But if we have to call it something, let’s call it a healthy habit.
A habit is a learned behavior that becomes subconscious over time. The behavior is often triggered by a certain context. A habit can be healthy, unhealthy, or neutral. For example, you might go for a walk every morning after breakfast. You might smoke a cigarette every time you drink a beer. Or you might wash your face every night before bed. The American Journal of Psychology defines a “habit, from the standpoint of psychology, [as] a more or less fixed way of thinking, willing, or feeling acquired through previous repetition of a mental experience.”
Behavioral scientists who study habit formation say that many of us try to create healthy habits the wrong way. We make bold resolutions to start exercising or lose weight, for example, without taking the steps needed to set ourselves up for success.
Here are a few secrets for creating healthy habits.
Write it Down
I think the reason why many people give up on their resolutions, oftentimes prematurely, is because they haven’t made a plan. In order to be successful at doing something new or creating a change in behavior, we have to have the right mindset and a plan in place. I did WW years ago and one of my leaders favorite sayings was “When you fail to plan, you plan to fail.” How true it is! For example, if you want to commit to eating healthier in the New Year, instead of just declaring it verbally, it would be beneficial to write down your reasons for wanting to eat healthier- maybe you want to lose weight and get off medications- be specific, how much weight do you want to lose? Which medications would you like to boot from your routine? In this example, creating a weekly meal plan would also be extremely helpful.
It’s not enough to wish or hope for something to change. We have to take action to propel the change. So go grab a notebook and a pen and get busy!
Use Anchors
According to experts, the best way to form a new habit is to tie it to an existing habit. Look for patterns in your day and think about how you can use existing habits to create new, positive ones. Basically, it entails anchoring your new habit to an existing one.
A morning cup of coffee, for example, can create a great opportunity to start a new daily devotional and Bible reading habit. When you sit down to have your coffee, grab your devotional and your Bible.
If you would like to add more movement to your day try anchoring that behavior to cooking dinner. When you are in the kitchen getting dinner ready, turn on some music and dance around the kitchen. It’s a super fun way to add activity to your day. My kids look forward to “cooking time” because they know it means mommy is dancing in the kitchen.
It really is that simple.
Start Small
Don’t try to change everything on the first day. You will likely fall short and want to give up. Set yourself up for success by taking baby steps.
For example, if your goal is to drink half your body weight in water each day, and you weigh 180lbs, you don’t start by trying to drink 90oz of water the first day. You might start with 32oz and increase it gradually until you get to your goal.
Or, if your out of shape and you decide that you want to run a 5k six months from now, you don’t start by attempting to run 3 miles on the first day. You break the big goal into smaller steps.
Start small!
Commit to 1 Month
According to Healthline, it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days for a person to form a new habit and an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic. There’s no one-size-fits-all figure, which is why this time frame is so broad; some habits are easier to form than others, and some people may find it easier to develop new behaviors. There’s no right or wrong timeline. The only timeline that matters is the one that works best for you. The lesson is that habits take a long time to create, but they form faster when we do them more often, so start with something reasonable that is really easy to do.
A good rule of thumb is to commit to doing the new behavior daily for a month. Once you have done something consistently for 3 or 4 weeks, you become much more likely to continue the new behavior.
Make a commitment and stick to it.
Be Consistent
To form a new habit, consistency is key. If you are intentional about a new healthy habit, doing it on a daily basis, you will train your brain to accept the new habit much faster. And you will be less likely to make excuses.
For example, if you want to get into better shape by walking, you would be better off walking 20 minutes 7 days per week than walking 1 hour 2-3 times per week. It would also be helpful to try going at the same time, to the same place for your thirty days. When cues like time of day, place and circumstances are the same in each case, the healthy habit is easier to stick.
Remember, consistency is KEY!
Reward Yourself
Rewards typically serve as reinforcers. A reinforcer is something that, when presented after a behavior, causes the probability of that behavior’s occurrence to increase.
According to Productive Club, every time you receive a reward, your body releases dopamine which creates a sense of pleasure. Your body secretes the same chemical during various other occasions of pleasure, both good and bad, such as love, sex, gambling, smoking and so on.
Dopamine is highly addictive and by building a reward system for yourself, you are using your dopamine to your advantage.
The reward needs to be appropriate for the behavior and not counterintuitive. For instance, if you are working on a healthy eating plan, you don’t want to reward yourself by eating a big bowl of ice cream. If you are working on decluttering your house for improved mental health, you don’t want to reward yourself by shopping and filling your home with more stuff.
Some ideas for rewards are:
- Sleep in an extra hour
- Meet a friend for coffee
- Watch a movie
- Play a game with your family
- Read a book
- Take a relaxing bath
- Take a nap
- Go for a walk
- Go out for dinner
- Visit the spa
- Have a child-free afternoon
Accountability Partner
If you are the type of person, like me, who needs that outside accountability, having a buddy to go on the new habit journey with you is super helpful. In the past when I have been most successful at weight loss and going to the gym, my best friend and I did it together. We held each other accountable every day. If one of us was having a bad day and felt like throwing in the towel, the other would be there to encourage and support. I have even found online groups to be very encouraging and helpful as well.
Grab a buddy or join an online group to offer and receive encouragement and support.
Forgive Yourself
You are going to screw up. It happens. When it does, forgive yourself and move on. Start with your next decision. Do not let one poor choice define your day.
The other day, I messed up. I was trying my best to stick to meals and avoid snacks (snacking is my downfall!) but the M&M’s sitting on the counter kept calling my name. 3 M&M’s turned into 3 handfuls. I got so mad at myself, I wanted to give up for the day and eat whatever I wanted. But I calmed myself down, forgave myself and started over. Right then. There was a time that I would have given up on the day, maybe even on the week. I had to learn how to give myself grace!
When you mess up, forgive yourself and start again.
2021 will be your best year yet! Make a plan for those “resolutions” and take action. I would love to know what is on your list for the coming year. Please drop your answers in the comments.
